Really Need to Get This Under Control!

    Well, I've written before about my ability to convince myself of things. Such as "Yes. I do need that." or "That's such a great deal! I can't NOT take advantage of that." and, of course, the ever popular "Its ok to use money from my account to buy this perfume. I can just replace it on payday!" etc., etc..
    WHY the heck do I do that to myself? More importantly, HOW do I STOP doing that? My logic and good sense have all fallen to the wayside.... and that is not a good thing. I must retrieve them somehow!
    Perhaps I shouldn't be so hard on myself. After all, I'm doing so much better than I was! Baby steps aren't so bad.     SEE, there I go again...... its an automatic response! Arrgh!
    Where has my ability to reason things out correctly gone to anyway? Yes, I do repay my bank account. But that just evens it out again. Or it would.... except that I pay bills out of there! So the total amount of money is decreasing every month.    You know, before I got back into perfumes, and fragrance in general, I would have looked at a situation like this and SLAMMED on the brakes!  Now my brakes have failed.... and I'm the one sneaking out in the middle of the night and cutting the lines!!!  This is quite the eye opener for me! I'll have to stay vigilant in order to keep my compulsive behavior reined in.   You'd think at 55 years of age I'd have a better grip. But perfume does that to me.... and incense... and those astounding tropical flower plants I keep trying to resist buying. I don't want to plant what I can't eat. But then.... there is food for the Spirit! And that's what fragrance does for me. Feeds my Soul. 
   Perhaps I was just deprived of it for too long. Seventeen years IS quite a while! (There I go again!) But that's no excuse for reckless behavior.   Oh my, guess I have to reorganize my thought processes and focus on things that are more important.   You know repeat it enough times and it becomes habit. Maybe those exotic flowers would be a good thing after all. Perfume and beauty all in one.... plus the time I'd spend taking care of them.  Communing with the plant people used to be one of my greatest joys! Always brought me back to a place of balance within myself.      Hmm, I think I've just stumbled onto why I've been rambling on here. To remind myself to Be in Balance.  chuckle

Seeds for sale. Michelia Champaca.  Also know as Yellow Jade Orchid tree or Joy Perfume tree. Sounds like the blossoms smell heavenly! Although I've read where others recommend Michelia Alba as the most fragrant. They are in the Magnolia family. Rumored to be a flower used in Joy perfume.